Ripples on the brain

Kuppu: Hi Suppu.

Suppu: Hi maama.

Kuppu: So what’s up. How’s your school going?

Suppu: As usual, nothing special. In fact I find it boring.

Kuppu: Hmm…you’re too young to find life boring. Not so soon…

Suppu: I just find my school boring. I definitely find a lot of things interesting outside school.

Kuppu: Like?

Suppu: Like the recent announcement from the Tamil Nadu government on the gold ring for every new born child with a Tamil name.

Kuppu: Yeah, that is yet another welfare measure from the state. It is so heartening to see all that they have done so far for the people of the state and for promoting our language. A couple of years ago they came with the rule on Tamil names for Tamil films and now this. They have even recently appointed a committee to study if the tax concessions for Tamil films are being passed on to the people. But what did you find interesting in that?

Suppu: No, just the rule itself. How would you just identify a Tamil name?

Kuppu: Why? Isn’t that a no-brainer? Ezhilarasan, Kuralarasan, Kalaichelvi, Malarvizhi, Periyasami are all Tamil names.

Suppu: I get the obvious ones. But what about names like Abhinav, Abhilash, Keshav, Pranav, Shreya, Shradhdha, Anaga, Abhinaya, Ananya etc.?

Kuppu: Come on, I expect you to be more intelligent. Those are definitely not Tamil names. They are mostly Sanskrit.

Suppu: Okay, then what about Saraswati, Karthik, Meenakshi, Sharadha, Deepa, Shanti?

Kuppu: Well…hmm… Some like Saraswati, Karthik, err, are still Sanskrit. Karthikeyan is probably a more Tamil name. I’m a little confused about the rest. But that might be because of my ignorance.

Suppu: And I’ve not even started maama. What about Arjun, Ashok, Nakul, Ram?

Kuppu: Well, Arjunan, Ashokan, Nakulan, Raman should be Tamil names. I don’t know if whatever you’ve called out will be accepted as Tamil names because they sound like North Indian names. But, I think I see your point. It is not as easy as I initially thought. But it isn’t as difficult either for someone like our Chief Minister. If he can order a committee to be formed, just like the one that was formed for the Tamil movies, which can be led by a retired judge, then that committee can arrive at a comprehensive list of all Tamil names and the non-Tamil ones so that this rule can be applied better.

Suppu: I see. Just tell me one more thing. Are the names Peter, John, Joseph, Jacob Tamil.

Kuppu: Why? Definitely not!

Suppu: What about Mohammed, Siddique, Shamshuddin, Sirajuddin, Salman?

Kuppu: Hmm… I see where you’re going, you’re trying to get us into trouble here. I think the same committee can look at bring in reservations for minorities under this rule so that they don’t feel discriminated. They can look at what additional names can be considered Tamil. That should fix the concerns.

Suppu: I rest my case. See you.

Kuppu: !!?!!